yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
