Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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