I think I am morally bankrupt
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
