I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
