You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
