well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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