I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
NoShamevember. You game?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
