If i come over, it means nothing
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
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You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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