It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
