even my farts smell like vagina
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
