Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
