so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
