remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
