All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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