Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
