so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
