First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
