The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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