your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
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and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
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That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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