she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He did a backflip because drugs
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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