dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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