just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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