idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
