Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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