jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
please don't ironically join a cult
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