all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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