I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
