how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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