I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize