sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...