dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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