They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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