: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize