I cockslap morals
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
