How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
