my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
