BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
