She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
