you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
