so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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