I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
