I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
