Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
