It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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