Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I got inside last night via doggy door
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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