as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
