I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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