he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize