Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
