your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
