Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
