woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
