I CAN MOONWALK!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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