YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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