That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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