At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize