You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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