I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize