You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am midnight drunk by noon
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
