it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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