Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
