is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
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i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar