i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime