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I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
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