that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...